July 8, 2009
I know, I know…it’s been way too long. But I’m back! It’s not like I haven’t been practicing mindfulness the past month and a half…just that I haven’t been mindful about posting anything. Which is why I’m here again and treating you to a pic of my new tattoo. (My pal Naz designed it, and Andrew took the photo.) Peace is Every Step is the name of my fave book by Thich Nhat Hanh, someone I’ve learned a ton from. He’s kind of my mindfulness go-to-guy. Check him out, and I promise you won’t be disappointed. Why did I get the phrase tattooed on my body? Because I need all the help I can get lately to remember that I have a choice, in every moment, about how I want to experience life. I’m trying really hard to get into a regular meditation practice and to be thoughtful in my day-to-day approach to work, relationships, driving…everything! And I’m always writing reminders on my hand, which makes my friends giggle. So it makes sense that I would write the ultimate reminder in the most ultimate way possible: permanently.

I know, I know…it’s been way too long. But I’m back! It’s not like I haven’t been practicing mindfulness the past month and a half…just that I haven’t been mindful about posting anything. Which is why I’m here again and treating you to a pic of my new tattoo. (My pal Naz designed it, and Andrew took the photo.)

Peace is Every Step is the name of my fave book by Thich Nhat Hanh, someone I’ve learned a ton from. He’s kind of my mindfulness go-to-guy. Check him out, and I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Why did I get the phrase tattooed on my body? Because I need all the help I can get lately to remember that I have a choice, in every moment, about how I want to experience life. I’m trying really hard to get into a regular meditation practice and to be thoughtful in my day-to-day approach to work, relationships, driving…everything! And I’m always writing reminders on my hand, which makes my friends giggle. So it makes sense that I would write the ultimate reminder in the most ultimate way possible: permanently.

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May 20, 2009

Remembering to remember is the hardest!

Things are pretty tough here at ChronicBabe HQ. I can’t go into details, but suffice to say, most areas of my life are problematic right now. There’s lots to think about, many decisions to make, lots to do. And I’m stressed to the max.

What happens when stress whomps us? We forget to practice. Or at least, I know I do. (I hear that I’m not alone in this!) We forget that mindfulness and the idea of taking things one at a time is something that must be practiced daily so it can become ingrained as a habit, not simply an ide al.

Wow, am I there. I haven’t been practicing very well lately and the stress really got to me yesterday. Two friends, separately, told me to remember my mindfulness practice and take things one moment at a time.

One pal said something like, “look, this is a bad situation, but here’s what you need to do TONIGHT: go home, eat a good dinner, watch a bad movie, take a hot bath and go to bed early.” Wow, was he right! By 9:45pm I was in my jammies chillin’ and thinking about sleep.

Another friend called just then and we caught up on each other, and then she said, “Jenni, this is the time for mindfulness. Instead of trying to solve everything at once, focus on one thing - the one that’s right in front of you - and appreciate the good in it. Dwell on that for a moment. And then you’ll feel more peaceful and ready to tackle some of the other stuff, one step at a time.”

Do I have awesome friends or what? They were both right - I needed some serious self-care, and a separation from the issues at hand. Not a DENIAL but a momentary escape, one that would nourish me and help me feel stronger and more secure, and more centered.

And so today I feel much better. Yes, those same issues still exist, and I’m still trying to figure them out. And yes, it’s stressful. But I’m going to take time every day to chill out and focus on something positive and try to pull myself back into the present moment, instead of freaking out about what’s to come.

TMI? I don’t know. I suppose I hope that my experience will resonate with you and help in some way. XO, Jenni

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May 12, 2009

Thinking back on the past month of mindfulness

This 30-day experiment has been terrific. I learned so much from trying to be mindful every day. It was a challenge to document the process perfectly (and perfection is SO overrated anyway), so after the days I didn’t write, I tried to go back and think about ways I had been mindful.

One of the things I realized pretty quickly was that by taking deliberate action to make that one small change - to be more mindful as I went about my day - it started happening organically, without having to think about it very often. I can see how continuing this practice (which I’m doing) beyond the original 30 days is going to have a positive long-term impact on my daily life.

In terms of inspiring others or impacting people in my life, it was fun to have friends and ChronicBabe readers participate. They came up with some creative and inspiring ways to celebrate the project, and I received a good number of emails from folks who said they were already feeling the positive effects of mindfulness. So I’m very happy my project had a positive impact on other people!

Part of the work I do as a health writer and advocate is create projects like this, so it was fun to be part of one that someone else kicked off (thanks, Angie!); it was nice to participate instead of lead, especially with a goal of mindfulness, which is something you can’t “force” or “schedule” - you just have to keep it in mind and keep practicing. It was lovely.

Thanks to everyone who joined in! And I’ll keep this blog going, so if you want to join the fun even now after the original 30 days have passed, please feel free. Peace, Jenni

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May 7, 2009
Ricky joined the Be Here Now experiment today, and she’s a huge inspiration to me. (She’s the creator of BedBound.org.) Here’s her story: I’m bedridden and have a computer mounted so I can use it in bed (there’s a photo on this page that shows the screen mounted above my bed). I spend a lot of time using the computer and doing internet related things - having the ability to do that is fantastic because I’m able to accomplish so much with the computer and net access, things I could never do without it. The computer and internet enriches my life hugely and without it I would have only radio/TV/CDs for company, not something I like to contemplate. But on the other hand using the computer so much does sometimes lead to me almost forgetting where “here” is in a way! It’s like my mind ends up in the internet and doing ten things at once and I end up not getting anything done because switching between ten tasks is very inefficient. So I’ve put my “be here now” on a sign below the computer screen and added a big arrow pointing down towards me. The photo above shows the view from my perspective: The green at the bottom of the photo is the bedclothes over my knees. So the sign is reminding me to be *here* - in my body, in this place and this time and not all fragmented inside the internet. The net is great, but there’s an importance to being *here* too. Thank you very much for this project - I’m loving everybody’s stories and photographs. Ricky, thank YOU for being part of the project and keeping me inspired. Awesome!

Ricky joined the Be Here Now experiment today, and she’s a huge inspiration to me. (She’s the creator of BedBound.org.) Here’s her story:

I’m bedridden and have a computer mounted so I can use it in bed (there’s a photo on this page that shows the screen mounted above my bed). I spend a lot of time using the computer and doing internet related things - having the ability to do that is fantastic because I’m able to accomplish so much with the computer and net access, things I could never do without it. The computer and internet enriches my life hugely and without it I would have only radio/TV/CDs for company, not something I like to contemplate.

But on the other hand using the computer so much does sometimes lead to me almost forgetting where “here” is in a way! It’s like my mind ends up in the internet and doing ten things at once and I end up not getting anything done because switching between ten tasks is very inefficient.

So I’ve put my “be here now” on a sign below the computer screen and added a big arrow pointing down towards me. The photo above shows the view from my perspective: The green at the bottom of the photo is the bedclothes over my knees. So the sign is reminding me to be *here* - in my body, in this place and this time and not all fragmented inside the internet. The net is great, but there’s an importance to being *here* too.

Thank you very much for this project - I’m loving everybody’s stories and photographs.

Ricky, thank YOU for being part of the project and keeping me inspired. Awesome!

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April 30, 2009
“J” also joins us today, a fellow ChronicBabe who knows what it’s like to live with illness - and the challenges it poses to our ability to be fully present throughout the day. Here’s what she has to say: For me, “be here now” means getting out of my “headspace” and into “meatspace.” I am one of those people with an imagination, and who focuses too much on the negative, so between the two I’m constantly thinking about what could have been, or what I want to have happen - even if it’s not realistic. I’m also prone to depression, and being home for the past six months due to my lupus diagnosis has definitely not helped with any of these things! “Be here now” means focusing on the things happening in the moment, as well as the good things in my life - not just wishing things could be different or wishing for things that can’t (at least at this point) happen. So true, J. Sometimes it all comes down to this very basic, true point: it’s about focusing on the positive and the present. Thanks for the reminder!

“J” also joins us today, a fellow ChronicBabe who knows what it’s like to live with illness - and the challenges it poses to our ability to be fully present throughout the day. Here’s what she has to say:

For me, “be here now” means getting out of my “headspace” and into “meatspace.” I am one of those people with an imagination, and who focuses too much on the negative, so between the two I’m constantly thinking about what could have been, or what I want to have happen - even if it’s not realistic. I’m also prone to depression, and being home for the past six months due to my lupus diagnosis has definitely not helped with any of these things!

“Be here now” means focusing on the things happening in the moment, as well as the good things in my life - not just wishing things could be different or wishing for things that can’t (at least at this point) happen.

So true, J. Sometimes it all comes down to this very basic, true point: it’s about focusing on the positive and the present. Thanks for the reminder!

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Lindsay joined us today (well, OK, a couple days ago but I got behind on email while I focused on other pressing tasks!) and she has great insight to offer: Growing up with a chronic illness, you’d imagine I’d be awesome at it by now. I’m not. This past year has been one of my most difficult - not because of flare-ups, but because of the new balance I’ve had to create for myself as my mom battled breast cancer and I became a first-time mom. I’m almost halfway through my maternity leave (here in Canada, we’re lucky enough to get an entire year off to get to know our babies) and I feel so much pressure to do things RIGHT. More and more, I’m realizing that my definition of ‘right’ needs to change, especially when my energy is limited. It’s so much more important to live in the moment - to enjoy time with my husband, my baby girl, my mom, my friends and family - than it is to have a perfectly clean house or a perfectly balanced made-from-scratch meal. I’ve spent the last decade working at ad agencies, so I’m a master multitasker (and thrive on stress and drama). Much of this year is being spent de-programming, and learning to be present in each moment. When I play with Briony, I work at *just* playing (and turning a blind eye to the dusty baseboards a few feet away from where we’re lying on the floor). And you know what? It’s making my life so beautiful. I want to become more and more deliberate with this effort, which is why I’m so excited to join the “Be Here Now” project.

Lindsay joined us today (well, OK, a couple days ago but I got behind on email while I focused on other pressing tasks!) and she has great insight to offer:

Growing up with a chronic illness, you’d imagine I’d be awesome at it
by now. I’m not. This past year has been one of my most difficult -
not because of flare-ups, but because of the new balance I’ve had to
create for myself as my mom battled breast cancer and I became a
first-time mom.

I’m almost halfway through my maternity leave (here in Canada, we’re
lucky enough to get an entire year off to get to know our babies) and
I feel so much pressure to do things RIGHT. More and more, I’m
realizing that my definition of ‘right’ needs to change, especially
when my energy is limited. It’s so much more important to live in the
moment - to enjoy time with my husband, my baby girl, my mom, my
friends and family - than it is to have a perfectly clean house or a
perfectly balanced made-from-scratch meal.

I’ve spent the last decade working at ad agencies, so I’m a master
multitasker (and thrive on stress and drama). Much of this year is
being spent de-programming, and learning to be present in each moment.
When I play with Briony, I work at *just* playing (and turning a blind
eye to the dusty baseboards a few feet away from where we’re lying on
the floor). And you know what? It’s making my life so beautiful.

I want to become more and more deliberate with this effort, which is
why I’m so excited to join the “Be Here Now” project.

•
Yesterday was a great day for ChronicBabe stuff. I spent the afternoon at Flashpoint Academy with Elena Rubin, my “magical audio princess” (a.k.a. sound engineer/producer). We recorded two episodes of my upcoming ChronicBabe podcast, which I’m SO excited to launch finally! The thing about recording audio (or pursuing any creative activity) is you can’t multi-task. There was no tweeting or answering email, no making or taking phone calls. There was only thinking, and speaking, about a very specific topic. It was wonderful. Yes, I fell way behind on email yesterday, but it was worth it to be fully present in that moment with Elena. The results will speak for themselves, I believe. What if we operated in this way every day? I know it’s impossible to expect that we can be fully present in every moment, but what if we gave it a shot at least once a day? What if we picked a specific task and just focused in? Would we see greater results? Would we feel more satisfied, more relaxed? I think this experiment has shown me the answer.

Yesterday was a great day for ChronicBabe stuff. I spent the afternoon at Flashpoint Academy with Elena Rubin, my “magical audio princess” (a.k.a. sound engineer/producer). We recorded two episodes of my upcoming ChronicBabe podcast, which I’m SO excited to launch finally!

The thing about recording audio (or pursuing any creative activity) is you can’t multi-task. There was no tweeting or answering email, no making or taking phone calls. There was only thinking, and speaking, about a very specific topic.

It was wonderful. Yes, I fell way behind on email yesterday, but it was worth it to be fully present in that moment with Elena. The results will speak for themselves, I believe.

What if we operated in this way every day? I know it’s impossible to expect that we can be fully present in every moment, but what if we gave it a shot at least once a day? What if we picked a specific task and just focused in? Would we see greater results? Would we feel more satisfied, more relaxed? I think this experiment has shown me the answer.

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Are we too distracted? This author seems to think so. And I have a hard time disagreeing.
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April 29, 2009

I have to "be here now" in my bed.

Because I’m pooped, my friends. Yesterday was a terrific day, spent at the DePaul Chronic Illness Initiative annual symposium; the night before, I had a lovely dinner with fellow writers Paula Kamen and Laurie Edwards (plus I moved offices). And today, among other things, I spent three hours in studio at Flashpoint Academy recording two episodes of the upcoming ChronicBabe podcast. It’s been a whirlwind!

I have a few things I’ve wanted to post about here, but I didn’t have time to dash away from any of my goings-on to hop on the computer.

And doesn’t that just say it all? My tolerance for multi-tasking has shrunk to miniscule size during the past month, due in large part (I believe) to this experiment. Sure, I still love to send Tweets and emails and write blog posts and call folks, but when I’m doing something, I focus. FOCUS. On that thing I’m doing.

It’s kind of wonderful. I feel like I’m accomplishing more. (OK, less email, though, which is an issue that must be addressed.) And I feel like the things I’m doing are done well which is even more important!

So tonight, while I’m tempted to upload photos from dinners and meetings and recording sessions and write a bunch of stuff, I recognize that it’s more important to get some sleep. There will be time tomorrow for posting, and anything I want to say can keep until then. Now: bed.

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April 27, 2009
I am here now. Right now. In “The Internet.” It’s the name of the new co-working space that I’ll share with four terrific guys: Andrew, Sandy, Scott and Dave. (Because we have so many company names among us, we had to pick one name to represent all of our efforts, and we think this name says it all.) We’re creating a comfy space filled with positive, creative energy. It will take a few weeks for us all to settle in, but we’re on our way. I’ve written before about the power of creating supportive surroundings. While there are many things over which we have no control, we do have some control over our physical situations, and I believe (and anecdotal evidence supports the idea) that we can improve our physical and mental health by making a great space for ourselves. Sometimes it takes almost no effort, and the payoffs can be huge! So here I am, right now, in The Internet. I hope you’re somewhere awesome, too.

I am here now. Right now. In “The Internet.”

It’s the name of the new co-working space that I’ll share with four terrific guys: Andrew, Sandy, Scott and Dave. (Because we have so many company names among us, we had to pick one name to represent all of our efforts, and we think this name says it all.)

We’re creating a comfy space filled with positive, creative energy. It will take a few weeks for us all to settle in, but we’re on our way.

I’ve written before about the power of creating supportive surroundings. While there are many things over which we have no control, we do have some control over our physical situations, and I believe (and anecdotal evidence supports the idea) that we can improve our physical and mental health by making a great space for ourselves. Sometimes it takes almost no effort, and the payoffs can be huge!

So here I am, right now, in The Internet. I hope you’re somewhere awesome, too.

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